I'm exhausted and my brain won't stop to let me relax into sleep. I do myself a disservice by grabbing my phone and looking at various social media, to then read things written by people who I used to consider friends but now exhibit such thoughtless, knee-jerk responses to nuanced and complicated real-world situations that I would prefer to no longer know them.
I will eventually sleep but it will be tense and I will wake up a number of times during the night, hating the world.
This is the pattern. I'll get past it and in a few days I may feel okay. I have systems in place to keep me safe. I'm lucky.
That doesn't change the fact that I know some awful fucking douchebags who I used to call 'friends'.