Here are some real reviews on the internetz of my favourite Chinese dumpling restaurant in Melbourne.
My friend who got the dumplings went home feeling gross! I would not go back.
--ChiaraB
The place stinks, it needs a clean, the staff are rude who can't be bothered giving good service and I felt angry that I even handed money over. I love in these places they say they don't accept cards; these are cash only businesses because they don't pay tax like everyone else does.
--Ckermeen
I like how this one started as a restaurant criticism but turned into a little rant of... what is that? It smells a bit like... indignant xenophobia.
The taste is good as well. But when you enter the premise it smell awful, smell very vinegar.
--Tjhia
Yeah, that could be all the vinegar. Personally, I've never noticed the smell. I've been in restaurants where all I could smell was toilet cleanser. I'll take the smell of COOKING and INGREDIENTS over that any day.
The atmosphere there makes me expect that Jackie Chan will be thrown from the upstairs in a Chinese movie brawl.
--Daniel
Yes. This is the most accurate review so far. It was one of my first thoughts too. The balcony is perfectly designed for throwing someone off. That, to me, says "Authentic Chinese Food Here".
The meals, nothing special and nothing which I couldn't have gotten at Shanghai Dumpling House within a matter of 15 minutes. Unpleasant and and unsatisfactory.
--cindyc
Very strange indeed, they just lost our (rather lucrative) business. Very disappointed.
--Etak_tseug
I eat at Shanghai Village regularly. I've done so for the past 10 years. I personally don't mind the way it smells or the hot-pink walls. I focus on the menu and the food.
When my friends and I go there for or dinner, we walk/roll away 40 minutes later unable to imagine anyone ever eating as much food as we did. Especially for what works out to be about ten bucks each. It's extraordinary.
My major complaint is that they used to have these delicious red-bean sesame balls that were little, deep-fried mouthfuls of artery-clogging goodness but they have fallen off the menu.
Bring those back, SV, and you will have my heart, stomach and tongue forever.